LIFE on BOARD
Queen Victoria's Deck 10
We expected changes, perhaps some improvements – but we expected that the most serious frustrations – the poor speed of the internet, the willingness to let passengers befoul the air with smoking, and the shore excursion disorganization to have survived.
Happily, we were wrong.
The ship sparkles; the food is great’ the entertainment is not embarrassing and the lectures – okay, the lectures are still sometimes poor – although the writer Matt Costello’s lectures were an excellent exception. Most happily few lectuers were flogging books and selling CDs and DVDs in the lobby.
By the way, Cunard only have three ships, and we have sailed on two of the three. The new Queen Elizabeth only took to the seas last fall and we have not sailed on her. We can say that what we say of the QV s also true of the Queen Mary 2 – if smoking s gone from the QV, we suspect that it has similarly been highly restricted in the QM2 and the new QE. Moreover, their personnel float from ship to ship, so policies on all three ships are likely to be similar as are procedures.
In other words, I think what we say of the QV you should generally find true on the Queen Mary 2 and the new Queen Elizabeth.
Lifeboat assembly signs match the Alphabetic Letter on each lifevest in each cabin. Here is Lifeboat Assembly Station A, the Royal Court Theatre.
So how are they doing in 2011? Pretty darn well, we think. Here we go:
C/ INTERNET and WiFi
The internet was expensive and it didn’t work. Now te internet is expensive and it does work, including wi-fi. Do youx really want to know about your getting killed in the market?
The report here is actually quite good, but there are caveats.
LEFT PICTURE CAROL AQNNE HOBART Cunard warns you up front each time you long in that this is satellite service. It’s not going to be fast like when you’re sitting in a Panera or your own bedroom. But it is actually not that slow. If you go back to the dial-up days when you could watch grass grow, the connection is quite perky.
But it does depend on when you decide to log in. On the third night out, about 11 pm, all of my fellow passengers were fed and out of the shows and apparently all of them headed for the internet at once. Again to Cunard’s credit, a screen came up saying “too many users” which means that instead of circling and circling as your minutes went away, they simply told you to go away and come back later.
In that case I did – about 5 am the following morning (by now we were in the Hawaiian time zone which meant that at 5 am it was 10 am in New York and the markets were open). At 5 in the morning still in the middle of the Pacfici the Queen Victoria’s internet perked along quite well.
So the tip here is: Go where they ain’t. Your fellow passengers are going to be hugging the intennert in droves late in the evening but apparently are sound asleep early in the morning. You need to get up and exercise anyway – do your internet then.
Or, of course, wait until you get to shore. If you are Hawaii bound, as we were on this trip, you’ll find free internet steps away on the the Aloha Tower shopping center where the Cunard ships dock. And that internet is, in our experience, fast.
D/ ELECTRIC PLUGS IN PUBLIC AREAS
Here I’ll leave you on yur own – I do know where some, if not most, electric plugs are in the public areas if you need to charge yur computer somewhere else thaqn in your cabin. And these plugs come in both 110 and 220 usually together, sde by side. So electric plugs are there – not terribly visible and not easy to find, but I’m not going to tell you where they are. My lips are sealed: I live in fear that you’ll ship out with me on some future cruise and beat me to the plugs – or worse, tell someone who is booked on the QV and they hoof off and plug in.
I do have experience with this happening. Crawing around one morning in the Lido (yes, a very few outlets are there) I found a plug and, standing, was immediately confronted by an elderly very distinguished, very British gentleman.
“What are you doing down there, lad?” He asked. (And thank you for thinking I’m a lad, sir)
“I just found an electrict plug!” I said, not thinking. I should have told him I dropped my donut.
“Did you now!” He opened his computer and handed me his power cord. “Be a good lad and plug me in .”
Whoa. With brass like this how did these people fumble away an entire empire?
I looked around. My computer and plug were two tables away – could I sprint to my table, grab my power cord and be back before this fossil was down on his knees plugging himself in? Not likely – gravity alone would drop this Tub of Lard on the floor beside my plug faster than I could get to my table and back.
“I had planned to use the plug myself,” I said playing the decency card.
“Oh? Where are you sitting?” I glanced back at my table and sort of gestured. “I don’t think your cord will stretch that far –“ and down he went plugging himself in.
Suffice it to say, a few electric plugs are here and there – but it’s a treasure hunt.
Go find your own damn plug.
E/ SMOKING
Cunard is not great at service recovery, and they do tend to overlook the obvious. But after a bad, non-sensicle decision regarding smoking, Cunard has recovered at least on the Queen Victoria.
In 2009 Cunard allowed smoing in the casino and adjacent hallway on Deck two. With the atrium just above the casiono, and the Gold Lion pub next door, the result was passengers wishing to avoid smoke had to traverse the ship by going to Deck 4 and avoid the Golden Lion and – by the way – all of the Cunard sales shops on Deck 3 jst above the casino. Many passengers who valued their lung and health quickly learned to do just that.
As for passengers with real breathing problems? — they were in a lot of trouble trying to find clean air on the Queen Victoria’s world cruise in 2009. And remember, world cruises are populated by a majority of people 75 and older, the exact people most likely to hasve breathing and other health issues that would be aggrevated by being around cugarette smoke.
Today smoking in the casino and the adjacent atrium is gone. The air is cleaner – not clean but cleaner. Walk any passageway on the ship and you’ll know when yu are passing a smoking room – the stink is in the hall. We know a hotel manager for Marriott who does exactly that twice a day – walks and sniffs. And when she find the odor of smoke in any hallway in hr hotel she notes the room number, returns to the front desk and puts another $250 on the bill for that room. No arguments and no nonsense – and that hotel guest thought his/her pack of cigarettes was expensive …
Today on the Victoria smoking is still allowed in two small places on the starboard (right sde) of the ship, in Churchill’s a smoking lounge on Deck 10 starboard and, if you must, in your room but only if you have a balcony. “We strongly suggest you not smoke in your cabin,” the purser’s office says stiffly, primly and with disgust.
Does Cunard have non-smoking cabins?
The Queen Victoria is clearly heading that way. “We do have cabins where we try to put smoking guests,” the purser’s office says, and so it is clear they have identified the cabins where smokers have been smoking. Can smoke free cabins be far behind? We suspect not.
One question is whether banning smoking heped Cunard’s retail sales where the shops and surrounding areas on Decks 2 and 3 were once riddled with a blue haze and now are smoke free? Only Cunard knows, but most cruise ship decisions are driven by economcs not passeger convenience or desires, and when you have guests avoiding two entire decks where your retail shops are, aren’t you giving up a lot of potential sales?
Economics rather than guest comfort may have driven the ban on smoking.
Fact is, smoking is clearly not welcomed by American passengers and subjecting them to smoke when they tried to traverse the public rooms of the ship probably got them a lot of flack – but, do remember, Cunard has a robst international trade and while North American travelers may be quite important, they are not game/set/match.
In any case, breath deeply and if you have asthma problems, breathe safely. The air on the Queen Victoria is much improved.
F/ FOOD & FOOD SERVICE
In the several years since we sailed Cunard we have spent time on a number of river cruises in Europe, primarily on Viking River Cruises. The Russian and the Black Sea cruises offered food that was barely edible and especially on the St. Petersburg/Moscoew cruise, it was a few weeks before I was recvered. The places we visited were secial – but I soon fgured out I would need to eat sparsely and judiciously on Viiing. Their food may agree with you more than it did with me – and, in farness, others I traveled with, whie not thinking much of the food, weren’t brought low by it as I was.
Cunard, however, knows how to do it. The food, pastries, vegetables, we found on re-boarding, are excellent as befre. Skim Milk? Not so good – sometimes Cunard serves milk in pitchers, sometimes in their own commerciallymarked containers. When serving milk in pichers the crew is often careless – they may not think it makes much difference, but skim milk drinkers (me) immediately know. Boarding Cunard in Los Angeles we found milk back in pichers marked skim milk – it wasn’t.
Germs, a big problem always and a huge problem on the 2009 world cruise, was on the Queen Victoria’s crew mind when we boarded. The dabs of hand disinfectant were everywhere and crew members stationed at entrance to food service areas making sure everyone disinfected their hands. Crew were also serving all food, as was true in 2009 during the ship’s noro virus problems. Passengers also had to attest they did not have colds, flu or other diseases before they were allowed nea the ship. If you fessed up to sniffles, you were packed ff to see a doctor befre being allowed to board – and possibly your sniffles would have barred your being allowed on board. That make it unlikely that anyone was going to fess up to anything, including a hang nail.
We quickly discovered that, as befre, the passengers were drawn from all over the world. Four of our dinner guests were from the UK. A couple we joined for lunch in the Lido was from Germany. The breakout on the countries the passengers are from will probably be published in a few days – we’re betting about two-thirds will be Americans and the rest from arnd the world. We love that Cunard has so many non-Americans – the United States, where we are residents, is chocked full of Americans everywhere you look. They are nice enough people, but …
G/ THE SAUNA
An elegant view from the sauna with floor to celing windows looking out at the sea. Even if you don’t want to strip down and sweat, you gotta sea (see!) this place; and it might be the best place to shower as well. Big showers with even a place to sit with shampoo and soap provided for thos tired of the dramped shower in their cabins.
They also provide flipflogs, towels and a robe. What they don’t have are places to lounge away the day in masceline chat – just a few benches that are needed to changing, but no one will object if you stretch out on one for awhile and watch the sea if the place is not busy.
Also for geisers and dirty old men into eye candy, the gym is the best place for you. Dancers and other young performers practice and exercise here, and although the generally g=do this at night when the facility is closed, there are usually several young woman darting in and out during the day.
Besides the occasional lovely view, you might even start to get back into shape and improve your own sex life, assuming it needs improving.
H/ THE WARMED SWMMING POOLS
Where to look and which ones to avoid.
I/ EXERCISE PROGRAMS
When going around the world I feel nto a pattern in the morning. Cunard has amorning walk at 7:30 each morning, three times around deck three. It was a gret place to meet people and tat is where Carol Anne and I became friends with Pat and Fred who own a bed and breakfast in the UK. Then we had breakfast and I would head off with my computer to the Royal Court theater and write fr an hour or so. The Cathlic Mass is held in the theater each morning at 9 am (then and now). I am not Catholic, but I started listening to the short servce – fifteen minutes. Eventually I would put aside my writing and listen. It was a worthy way to start the day.
In the afternoons on the 2009 World Cruise Cunard offered a “stair challenge” which was decikk one to deck 10 on the front stairs, three times. Here I met my friend Grayand eventually his wife Wendy. He is a retired British Airways pilot and she was a flight attendant on the Concorde. As with several others we met on the world cruise, they have remained in our lives. Gray, by the way, was just a little faster on the sgtairs than I was. I get peevish about such things.
Re-boarding the Victoria we quickly discovered both the morning 730sm walk, and the 3pm stairway challenge are gone. Gone too is the companty than ran the spa.
Less surprisingly, few if any of the crew who were on the world cruise remain. The head of housekeeping is still here; the guy who is so great at making pizzas is here, and a few others. We were actually surprised that the ship’s mastr, Paul Wright, was gone – probably on vacation.
We were also surprised that, while we should know the ship intimately, we were a bit rusty on what decks various things were on, although a quick cruise around all decks on the first night seemed to reorient.
J/ ENTERTAINMENT
Alistair Greener, the affable Entertainment director has gone to the new Queen Elizabeth and, for all we know, on beyond.
Greener homage to the Queen Victoria which he used to open his morning program is also gone. Not a surprise, but a disappointment – it was a low kep lyrical opening which never got old, at least for us. The new opening we found ghasrish and the music jarring. It may suit others, The current Entertainment Director while affabe is not smooth with an agility for entertaining while informing. It’s no longer a must see, unless you are panting with curious about what the handbag special is today on Deck 3 or enjoy long-winded uninterrupted drifting answers from show people.
Happily, though, the entertainment itself may be improved. A comic on the first night at sea was clever and amusing, we thought – although here too humor is subjective. What we might find funny, others may not.
All Aboard, the Cunard Queens 